Friday, February 15, 2013

Fearless

Yes, that is a Taylor Swift album/song. But no, that's not what I'm referring to.

Although come to think of it, I wouldn't mind being brave enough to "dance in a storm in my best dress - Fearless" (Taylor Swift, 'Fearless').

Fearless.

One word for 2013. My word for 2013.

I've realised recently how much I live in fear. Not that heightened senses, survival-instinct type fear, but rather an insidious, ingrained fear that dictates how I think and move in this world. A fear I hadn't realised pervaded so much of my thoughts and choices.

I don't deal well with change; I fear it.

I don't try new things very often. (Even rather pathetic 'new things' such as different food or different places to visit!)

I can't remember the last time I danced where anyone else could see me. For fear of... I'm not really sure what.

I tell people that I have no desire to travel. But really I do, it's just too scary to think about doing it alone.

I fear any large gathering of people - be it party or wedding or conference - for fear of not having anyone to talk to or anything interesting to say.

The list could go on....

I'm sure others share some of these fears… or maybe I am simply ‘bat crap crazy’ as Penny from The Big Bang Theory would say! Some fears I could explain away by saying I like routine and find comfort in consistency- there’s nothing wrong with that! And other fears I could say were legitimate self-preservation techniques for a chronically anxious person. But really, I don’t like living a life dictated by fear! I know that there are so many experiences I miss out on because of this subtle fear.

So at the beginning of January when most of the world are making resolutions, I joined a group of bloggers and others who are choosing something different: One Word. As the website says
“One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live. One word that you can focus on every day, all year long.”
Fearless.

Each day in 2013 - whatever I’m dealing with or making decisions about- I want to make conscious choices, brave choices. I want to bravely act where previously I might not have even tried.

I want to be fearless, knowing that my God is in all things. And that God longs for abundant life in and through me... out into the world.

Like last year (and others) I want to resolve at the beginning of 2013 to…. LIVE.

But I want to live fearlessly…. more bravely and intentionally than ever before.

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