Paying attention

"What we pay attention to is how we spend our lives."

Ann Voskamp

I've spent much of my life paying attention to negative thoughts and feelings - of self-loathing, of hopelessness, of mistrust, of fear, of hurt and anger. 'Life' has been consumed, and wasted, in paying attention to these things, and not really living at all. To some degree it was out of my control - it still requires daily medication to stay on an even keel - and yet, so often I made the choice to pay attention to these things above all else.

This morning as I sat enjoying my home-brewed long black and almond biscuits, reading this beautiful article by Sandra McCracken, I was reminded that I have a choice to be grateful for specific moments and things. I can choose to see the beauty, the grace, the blessing in any given moment. I can choose to pay attention to the comfort of a good cup of coffee and making fresh biscuits rather than giving attention to thoughts of fear and uncertainty.
I can choose to see beauty and hope in life rather than seeing no hope and endless darkness. I can choose to believe in a God of grace and love.
And in these choices, I believe I've paid attention to life and spent my time actually living it.
As Sara Groves says in her song 'Add to the Beauty':

Redemption comes in stange places, small spaces
Calling out the best of who we are
And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story....
This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful

I want to pay attention to the things in life that tell a story of hope and redemption and grace. I want to spend time seeing beauty and creativity and abundant life.